Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
