Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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