The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
