Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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