Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
