I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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