I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just high enough for therapy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
