Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
