About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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