honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
