if i can run in heels then i can drive
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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