Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
