ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
