I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
