Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ttyl tear gas
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
