just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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