Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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