Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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