Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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