i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
