oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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