So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
