Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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