If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
