Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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