Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
