You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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