i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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