I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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