Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
