sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
