Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
