Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
