he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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