what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
