thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You pole danced in your parka.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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