he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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