RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
