Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
