I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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