The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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