Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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