The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
