you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
