Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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