so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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