yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
