I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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