I heard we made out
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
