Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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