don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize