I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
